Keep your valuables safe and feel more calm and confident on your daily commute with this high-security backpack. Its clever design makes it a highly secure backpack you can rely on - the clever zip pocket tucked into the straps and back, allows you to easily access your tickets, cash, and other quick essentials. Unlike traditional backpack zippers which are exposed, we applied a concealed two-way zipper that can only be accessed when the bag is off your back.
That means each of 'em will need their own witty blurb, and well, that's really way more than we'd like to write.
So, we're doing what any motivated slacker (talk about paradoxes) would've done and figuring out the easiest route to keeping everyone happy.
We're effectively combining the excitement of writing words with just sitting here.
Is it working?
We'll take that as a yes.