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Due to several work emergencies (the details of which we legally can't discuss) we had less than 200 seconds to bang this out.
So instead of something clever and sales-related, here are a few actual quotes that actual people actually said:
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life." - Brooke Shields.
"I guess I'm going to fade into Bolivian" - Mike Tyson.
"I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke" - Donald Trump.
True icons.